Healthy Relationships...

Hello World, 1 thing I know we will never be able to AVOID is "RELATIONSHIPS"...I Know you all agree! I still to this day do not know EVERYTHING but I know enough to help another lady with many questions and worries! Honestly, relationships take over our WHOLE LIFE...they become # 1 which eventually puts you LAST---> Which is a BIG PROBLEM! Is it possible to have a healthy relationship and NOT lose yourself? What is a HEALTHY relationship? And what do I mean by "Losing Myself"?? In this blog...I am going to explain from what I have learned throughout my past and present relationships!

Well first, I want to say this...Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. Accept yourself. Respect yourself. Love yourself first. Take good care of yourself. If you really want, you CAN always find something to do that makes you feel good about yourself right now. Love yourself, so pursue your true needs.

Too often relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames their partner for making them that way. Your life is ONLY under your control. Keep reminding yourself you are GOOD ENOUGH to have a happy life and a healthy relationship. Make yourself happy, and then share with one another!

We all know about COMMUNICATION right? You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can't always have both. Most people argue to be "right" about something. They say. "If you loved me, you would..." and argue to hear the other say, "Okay, you're right." If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having a healthy relationship means that you have your experience, and your partner has his or her experience, and you learn to love and share and learn from those experiences.

Make and KEEP clear agreements. Respect the difference between yourself and your partner. Don't expect he or she agrees with you on everything.

Tell the unarguable truth....PLEASE (lol) Be truthful to yourself and your partner if you want true love. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their partner. Lies create disconnection between you and your relationship, even if your partner never finds out about it. The unarguable truth is about your true feelings...your partner can argue about anything that happens outside of you, but he or she cannot rationally deny your feelings. Here are some examples: "I felt scared when I saw you talking to him at the party," "I feel angry when you hang up on me," and "I felt sad when you walked out during our fight and didn't want to be around me...<<---That's just the the TRUTH, plain and simple! Do you know how much arguing you will AVOID by just telling it how it really is? how you REALLY felt?

Do not do anything for your partner if it comes with an expectation of reciprocation. The things you do for your partner must always be done because you chose to do them and you wanted to do them. Do not hold your “good deeds” over their head at a later time. Keeping score in a relationship will never work...SERIOUSLY! Do you Ladies feel me? :)


Forgive one another. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go the past and focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation. Talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it. If you can't reach an agreement, it's a bad sign. If you learn from the past and do not repeat the same pattern, it's a good sign. It's the only way to prevent yourself from more disappointment, anger or resentment. Respect your partner, when your partner tells you to leave them alone, do give him or her the time and space.

ATTENTION: ---> (this is a BIG 1)

Think about your expectations. Try to be as clear as you can about any expectations including acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and attitudes, especially attitudes towards money. Make sure you don't expect your partner to fulfil every need in your life. One person cannot be everything to you....EXCEPT JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF!!! Everybody needs love, intimacy, affection, and affirmation, but your partner cannot alone give you all of that. You need to get some from your friends, from your family, but first and foremost, love yourself. Attempting to change someone else’s mode of processing or personality style won’t work and will create derailments. Ladies, really think about this!

I will continue to type ALL DAY so I will just sum a lot of this up :)

Appreciate your partner, admit your mistakes and say SORRY, spend quality time together NOT ALL of your time, stay honest and PUT GOD FIRST and REMEMBER Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. For example, do you often feel 'bossed' around in your relationship, or do you feel powerless? When a relationship is not working, there is usually a familiar way that we feel while in it. We are attracted to the partner with whom we can learn the most, and sometimes the lesson is to let go of a relationship that no longer serves us. A truly healthy relationship will consist of both partners who are interested in learning and expanding a relationship so that it continues to improve.

Ladies there is nothing wrong with DATING, sometimes we take relationships to FAR! He is NOT our husband so we do not have any control over him...We are NOT married so us playing the "Wife" role is a No-No... Exclusively date, Take your time and DO NOT WASTE TIME...Because YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE!!!!

-Aundrea C. Smith